


Suspended Animation

by fourteenlines



Series: CJ & Toby Not Sleeping Together [2]
Category: The West Wing
Genre: Gen, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-14
Updated: 2020-01-14
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:27:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22253377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fourteenlines/pseuds/fourteenlines
Summary: He sits in one of her chairs, across the desk from her, and she tries not to think of the wide distances that separate them as a matter of course.  "Well?"She shakes her head, a baffled look on her face.  "I used to have the hugest thing for Will Sawyer."
Series: CJ & Toby Not Sleeping Together [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1602727
Kudos: 21





	Suspended Animation

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted circa 2002.

_suspended animation, n : a temporary cessation of vital functions with loss of consciousness resembling death; usually resulting from asphyxia_

+++

She's resting her head against her desk when he walks into her office, and the heightened sound of her breathing prevents her from hearing his entrance. 

"Ginger said you wanted to talk to me."

She startles. ”Yeah," she says, sitting upright.

He sits in one of her chairs, across the desk from her, and she tries not to think of the wide distances that separate them as a matter of course. "Well?"

She shakes her head, a baffled look on her face. "I used to have the hugest thing for Will Sawyer."

His brows raise archly. "That's what you wanted to talk to me about?"

She laughs once, derisively, inclining her head to indicate 'no.'

"It's a bad idea," he says.

"I'm the last person who needs to be told that, Pokey." She looks at him as if to say, _What am I, an idiot?_

"I mean, not just from an outside point of view. The staff --"

She cuts him off impatiently. "Toby, I've been sitting here for the last five minutes telling myself that I will not fall for another member of the press corps, not even a little bit." He gives her a sympathetic look, one which disorients her. She clears her throat and briskly straightens some papers on her desk. "Sawyer's not going to print your quote. That's what I thought you should know."

His brows draw down and inward, and she almost wants to laugh at the nearly indignant expression. "Why not?"

A crooked smile settles on her mouth. "He views covering the White House as punishment for getting kicked out of Myanmar."

"What's wrong with the White House?"

She lowers her head, the look she gives him half playful, half intense. "Do I really have to answer that?"

His teeth flash white in his beard, briefly. "So now you have a 'thing' for Will Sawyer again because he's being nice to us."

One shoulder raises in a shrug. "Integrity is sexy."

"Is it integrity or boredom, really? Simply because Will Sawyer thinks the White House Press Corps is beneath him --"

"He doesn't think it's beneath him, he thinks the rest of the corps _makes_ it beneath him. He's a good journalist, Toby. He wants to write about things that are important to the world at large. Will Sawyer doesn't give a damn what you said about the vice president."

He shrugs, and they fall silent a moment. "CJ? Why did you tell me that, just now? That you had a thing for Will Sawyer."

Her vision goes soft, and she gazes for a moment at a point above his head. "I was just wondering, really..."

"What?" he prompts after a moment.

"How long we can all keep our lives in suspended animation before important parts start to atrophy."

He narrows his eyes at her odd metaphor, asking, "Suspended animation?"

She focuses again, smiling gently. "None of us have lives outside the White House right now, Toby. How long can that go on before we forget how?"

"Keeping your love life on hold." He nods understanding.

"Not just mine, Toby. Everyone's. I know you're not getting any more than I am, which, by the way, is nil. And it's only a matter of time before Josh and Donna either begin to hate one another, or start sleeping together."

He blinks, once. "Who says they aren't?"

She snorts at the idea. "Please, Toby. The sexual frustration coming off Lyman alone is enough to boil water."

He laughs. "And Sam --"

"Is remarkably discreet for someone who accidentally slept with a prostitute."

A full minute passes before either of them says anything. 

"How do you know I'm not getting laid?"

She lets out a short laugh. "I've known you a long time."

His expression goes completely serious as he answers, "Yes, you have." His eyes lock on hers, and her breath stops.

"I'm not just talking about sex, Toby." And really, she's not, but that's part of it.

She wonders briefly what his hand would feel like trailing along her thigh, and whether she's been secretly in love with him these fifteen years. It would certainly be typical of her love life, and of them in general. Most people, she knows, assume that they used to sleep together, and that it was a long time ago, before he met Andi. She once overheard Josh complain to Sam that it was impossible to sleep with a woman and not have a weird relationship later, and Sam had said, "I don't know, just look at CJ and Toby."

The truth is, it had never been like that, and the closest they ever came was the weekend before he got married. He didn't have a bachelor party, he just came to California for the weekend and spent it with her. There was one point on Saturday night when, drunk and laughing in the back of a cab, she'd looked at him and felt the weight of his attention in his gaze. For one frozen second, she was sure he was going to kiss her and they would fall into bed together and change everything. But the air between them was too heavy, and eventually he blinked and the moment ended. Most of the time she forgets about that cab ride, but the way he's looking at her across the desk is remarkably similar to that night.

He takes a deep breath, and fear flashes up in her chest. Her throat gets tight, and she looks away. "Don't."

His mouth opens to protest, deny, anything. But he doesn't. The word, "Yeah," escapes on a sigh. He nods once and gets up, hands on his knees to push out of the chair. "I should...go tell Sam about the thing."

"What thing?" She looks at him in mild alarm.

His mouth quirks as he explains, "Will Sawyer not printing the quote. He should know."

"Yes," she nods, "he should."

Toby stops at the door. "CJ?"

"Yeah?"

He waits for her to meet his eye before asking, "Integrity is sexy?"

CJ smiles widely. "Yeah, it is."

He nods, then leaves. She presses her lips together. In another life, there'd be so much more to say.


End file.
